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Saturday, June 16, 2012

addictions

After getting a degree in Psychology I thought I knew exactly what it was that I wanted to do, and that was work with drug addicts.  I randomly received an email from my would-be supervisor telling me that she wanted to speak with me about a position A.S.A.P. I thought it was too good to be true. It was exactly what I wanted to do and it was less than one song length away from my house. So I started work on Valentine's Day, super romantic. The hallways of the facility were that of (what I assume) a psych ward would look like. Skinny, with bright-ass florescent lights and everything smelled like hand sanitizer and bleach. I started getting nauseous at the smell of the hallways after just a few days of working there. The rooms had two beds and the bathrooms were outside of the rooms. They had cottages for some of the patients that were like college dorm rooms and were much nicer. The detox department had flickering florescent lights and smelled like bleach mixed with cigarette smoke. There wasn't much color in the department which kind of made me depressed because I like color, as I'm sure others do as well.
I started getting pretty burnt out because it was actually a really depressing job. The facility also catered to adolescents and it hurt quite a bit to see 13-17 year-old kids without a support system who were struggling with addiction at such a young age. Not to mention the majority of them were facing criminal charges or had unplanned children that they couldn't father.  Opiates were the overwhelming abused drug at that facility, followed by benzodiazepines and methamphetamine. The patients would come in all messed up and incoherent and then I would have to readily stand by, as their family members were crying at their feet and begging me to help them. It was definitely a position that made you so very thankful for what you have in life. I was one of the few employees who actually genuinely cared about the patients, as many of them told me, which made the job more fulfilling in itself. The majority of the patients complained about certain employees and how they lacked compassion and understanding, particularly the doctor. After the patients left the facility, more so the kids than the adults, I always wondered about them.  I absolutely hoped for the best, that they wouldn't relapse, that they wouldn't go back to the abusive families that many of them were from, that they wouldn't drop out of high school, that they wouldn't go to jail or prison.  There would be nights that I lost sleep because I felt so bad for the adolescents and I wished that there was some other way that I could help. I spent almost four months at that facility and by the time I resigned I realized that substance abuse was not my forte, mainly because I was far too empathetic. I would come home from work sad and would dread going back. I once had a patient who relapsed and when she returned to the facility she asked for me by name. It was almost a bittersweet feeling - seeing someone relapse is an awful feeling, but knowing that they came back and that you made an impact on them the first time was the sweet part. I never did get to wish that patient well a second time off because I had resigned by then. I genuinely hope that patient stays sober.
On a happier note! Patrick and I went to a new seafood joint last night that our neighbor suggested, called Dewey Destin. Gorgeous view on the water and awesome seafood! I could eat fish and crab everyday for the rest of my life and be a happy camper. After that we went for a walk on the beach and grabbed a drink from Crab Trap... It was a lovely night! Today we did a killer workout that I'll definitely be feeling tomorrow, baked zucchini cayenne-chocolate cookies and took Jack swimming. Tonight we're grilling flank steak and asparagus and are probably meeting up with a couple of friends from the pipeline. <3

My salty guy after a swim.

AWESOME mistake cookies! Wrong flour and wrong oats, but they are the BOMB!

Working hard on cracking crab legs for me :)

Can't beat a Florida sunset.

Cheesy.

Silly!



1 comment :

  1. Those cookies look amazing!!!! Wish I could have had some!!! Oh and the crab legs��

    ReplyDelete

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