Sunday, February 25, 2018


How do you know you're doing a good job as a mother? Lately I've been comparing myself to other mothers, "is she really always this patient when her kid is freaking out like that?" "Oh, I let Isla eat stuff on the floor, should I not do that?" "You weaned from pacifiers and bottles that soon?" "Crap, I forgot to brush her eight teeth today for the third day in a row." For real though, why do we, as humans, compare ourselves to others? I saw a quote somewhere, don't compare yourself to other mothers, we're all losing our shit, just doing so differently.

Allow me to tell you how and when I lose my shit. I lose my shit when my child refuses to eat anything! How is she surviving? I love food, my husband loves food, HOW, I ask you, does our child NOT LOVE FOOD. She throws chunk after chunk onto the floor as Jack patiently awaits for the go-ahead to clean up the mess. I lose my shit when my child tries with every fiber of her being to escape her car seat in the thrashing, grunting, whining, twisting, screaming fashion. What does it look like when I lose my shit? A huge, deep, powerful sigh and the ability to realize that she has no idea what she's doing. Then, I simply look at my watch, and count the hours until bed (and wine) time. Side note, I recently received my wine shipment from Carol Shelton wines and you need this wine in your life, do yourself a flavor. Purposeful pun.

Being a parent is hard, y'all and I kick myself for every time I judged some other mother before I ever became a mother (and even after I was a mother). "Why is she screaming at her kid in public?" Girl, you gotta do you. We have no idea what that mother is going through, what she's been through the last day/week/month/year. Why are we judging though? Does that make us better parents? Hell to the no. Stop it.

My baby turned one on Friday and I'm basically losing my mind because where did the time go? It feels like I've had her forever (also feels like I've been awake and over caffeinated for forever), but it also feels like it cruised by. A mother's work never ends, you guys, I spent the night before her first birthday picking up balloons, cleaning, grocery shopping for in-laws who were arriving to celebrate, missing my husband, sobbing because my baby is now NOT a baby and endlessly admiring her adorable first birthday outfit which I purchased from this Etsy shop. It's essentially her first prom dress, she's only going to wear it once, but I can make pretend she's one forever.

Life is hard, but I am continuously trying to better myself to demonstrate more love, better behavior, more acceptance, less control and more gratitude to her. I am more stressed and overwhelmed than I have ever been, but as a mother, I have no choice than to wake up every single day and put on a beautiful smile and paint myself with enthusiasm for my girl.


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