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Saturday, June 22, 2019

This One Is About The Dog


     My Jack. My Guy. My Colonel Brasstail. I got Jack when he was just over a year old, from a woman on Craigslist who had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and could no longer take him for walks. For those that have known me since then, they'll remember the fight I had to go through to get him to be my dog. There's no one like Jack, he's the best person I know. He's patient, cute, a great snuggler and he'd text you "Good Morning, beautiful," texts if he could. Fun fact, over the years, I had several guys ask to take Jack to the dog park so they could use him to pick up girls. Jack is a swimmer, a great one. Prone to ear infections because he's a lab but they never did phase him. I frequently used to catch him swimming in my parent's pool, (he would also get out of the pool to go pee, such a gentleman).

     He's turning 11 in one month and two nights ago while Isla was taking a bath, I snapped a photo of them together and realized that I haven't had one-on-one time with Jack in a long, long time. His eyes looked older, cataract-y. His facial hair a little more gray. He's gotten slower coming in the house. In fact, if you know me at all, you know I am completely terrified of frogs. Several months ago I was alone in the house and let both dogs out to potty, Jack took his time walking back and inadvertently let a tree frog in the house. The cat didn't do anything about it except bat it around a little - meanwhile I was screaming and sweating while standing on my child's PlaySkool stool trying to usher it out with a broom. Complete chaos.

     Jack hates baths. He loves frozen watermelon. He also loves beer. One time I trained him to get beer out of the fridge. Another time, I took him to a cafe on the beach and was holding a pint of beer between my knees and he came up and starting chugging it. One time I threw his fetch toy into a retention pond that I didn't realize they had dyed green, and he came out green. He got skunked once and I thought someone was simultaneously smoking a massive bowl and also burning tires. He dug a huge hole in my neighbor's backyard and someone labeled him a backhoe. He sprinted through someone's screen door and broke it. One time I accidentally threw his fetch toy too much at the beach that he swallowed so much water that when he would bark, water would shoot out of his butt. The night I brought my daughter home from the hospital he gently licked her head, as if to say "hello, I'm your nanny!" He is a fantastic (or very promiscuous) host - he will sleep with any guest that comes over and follow them around.

     His feet smell like popcorn (or Fritos) and I love it. His breath isn't too stinky, in fact his vet said his teeth look great. He is great at acting as a Roomba, but then again what dog isn't? Seriously, I can't imagine having children and NOT having dogs! We don't deserve them. Jack is snuggled up next to me on the couch right now, I know he can't read (honestly though he probably can), but I want everyone to know how much I love him.

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